Teach Your Children How to Focus on the Things They Can Control

​An Instagram Series

By teaching our kids how to focus only on what they can control, we can help them feel powerful over the things they can't change. ​

1. CREATE A CULTURE OF ACCOUNTABILITY
Children who feel powerless often focus on things they can't change. They behave reactively ("It's not my fault!") vs proactively ("I'm in charge!").

2. CREATE A CIRCLE OF CONTROL
Children who know exactly what is in their control can help them balance situations where things are not in their control.

3. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS
Mindfulness is the practice of accepting what it is without trying to change it. Is bedtime at 7pm every night? A way to teach mindfulness is by explaining that while they can't control what time bedtime is, they can control how they respond to bedtime.

4. USE EFFECTIVE PRAISE
When we give genuine praise that is specific, spontaneous and well-deserved, it encourages continuous learning, and decreases competition among peers.

5. GIVE THE POWER OF CHOICE
Allowing your child to make important decisions about their lives is CRUCIAL for their mental and physical health!

Help your kids focus on what they can control by creating a culture of accountability.....
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Children who feel powerless often focus on things they can't change. They behave reactively ("It's not my fault!") vs proactively ("I'm in charge!").
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Create a culture of accountability in your household by expecting that each family member is responsible for:

• their own actions and behaviours
• following the family rues
• how they respond to stressful and upsetting situations.

Help your kids focus on what they can control by creating a circle of control.....
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Children who know exactly what is in their control can help them balance situations where things are not in their control.
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Control is a tricky concept to explain to a child. But helping them create visual depiction of what they can and can not control, makes it less daunting. 
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Draw a circle. Inside the circle is where all of the things your child can control belong. Outside the circle is where all of the things your child can not control belong.

​Creating this project together can not only help you bond with your child, but it can teach them confidence and independence.

Mindfulness is the practice of accepting what it is without trying to change it. Is bedtime at 7pm every night? A way to teach mindfulness is by explaining that while they can't control what time bedtime is, they can control how they respond to bedtime.
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Some positive ways to respond could be:

• Getting exciting about what story you are going to read together
• Being independent with teeth-brushing
• Talking about some exciting things that are going to happen tomorrow.
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Some negative ways to respond could be:

• Complaining that others might have a later bedtime
• Refusing to go to bed
• Begging to stay up later

Part of teaching our children to focus only on the things they can control, is by helping them gain confidence by using EFFECTIVE PRAISE.
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Effective praise focuses on the child's effort, rather than on what is actually accomplished. 
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When we give genuine praise that is specific, spontaneous and well-deserved, it encourages continuous learning, and decreases co

Allowing your child to make important decisions about their lives is CRUCIAL for their mental and physical health!
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You can help teach your child the power of choice by providing options within your established routines for example:

• which story book to read before bed
• which pair of shoes to wear
• whether to brush teeth first, or comb hair first
• whether to colour with crayons or paint
• which spread to have on their sandwich

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Identifying to the child that they are making the choice can impact key brain development and help them learn how focus on the things they can control, rather than the things they cannot.

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